11 March 2009

Mostly a wail over family

Happy Wednesday! It’s already 11 March; I’m still not doing enough training for my half-marathon walk in April. Meh, I’ll finish, just maybe not on the official clock!

Yesterday, I began working for a friend of mine. I’ll be going in two days a week to start, helping the paralegal/office manager take care of both partners. I’m soooooooo excited to be working outside the home, and in Carmel . Great environment. Do have to work on my phone manners, tho’ – I felt like a total dork playing at being a receptionist. Jeez, I’ve been working for almost 30 years, you’d think I could handle taking a proper message. First day jitters, I guess. I did get to do some billable work, and hope that, down the line, I’ll be doing lots more to REALLY contribute to the practice. An added pleasure is one partner, who is a long-time friend, happens to be one of my very favorite people in the world. And he’s totally HOT!! I’ll stop with that; not sure whether I’ve already shared dabbleponder URL with him, and don’t want to get fired for sexual harassment in my first week. Or for his wife to wanna kick my ass... (Really, K.M., I'm all talk, no action!!)

So what I really wanted to discuss is my family and their faith. And the problems I have accepting that I’m the one who has changed and they will never change.

You may have seen the reports of the 9-year-old girl in Brazil who was raped by her stepfather (I first heard of it via Sean The Blogonaut). The adults who helped her abort, the doctors and her mother, were pronounced excommunicated from the Church by the local Archbishop. The stepfather was not automatically excommunicated. The Vatican shared its support of the Archbishop. *deep, hopeless sigh* My parents and youngest sister, known here as Sister Christian, also side with the church.

You see, I sent a “family-wide” email soliciting their reaction, asking for their personal feelings, as opposed to their reactions as Catholic, pro-life activists. Especially since SC’s middle child is also a nine-year-old girl. I am so naïve. Their personal feelings = their beliefs = church dogma. There is no other argument or “facts” available. Of course, they are equally horrified by what happened to the victim, but (just like the church says) she was victimized a second time by being forced to endure the abortion. The images below are screen caps of emails from SC & my pops. Both can be thoughtful and articulate; rational or able to step away from the dogma, they are not. (Click to view larger image in new window.) I post them like this because, well, I wanted their words to speak for them.

SC's first response:

When I specified "no, really, what do YOU think", she continued:
And then Dad wrote (click to embiggen in new window):
They are so brainwashed by the cult of the fetus, they argue that the four-month-old unborn twins were likely to survive a cesarean. What about the nine-year-old mother?!?!?!?

Mom chimed in too, sending a link to a pro-church editorial from a pro-life site. Mom referred to her timely receipt of their message as a “godincidence”. Yeah, funny such an opinion should be published, just as this story makes the rounds of international newswires and blogs.

Okay, I am done with this topic, at least until they push another one of my buttons. Writing this way helps me process this... situation with my family. It is one thing to read crazy blatherings from religious wackos on websites and the occasional blog trolls. But having it in the family is rough. I know, I know, I should not be surprised; I know their opinions and beliefs, intimately. My Sweetie is never surprised, except at my reaction!

Full disclosure: I have not shared this blog with that part of my family; no doubt, if they looked hard enough, they could find it. Dad would say I am committing the sin of lying by omission; I have failed to openly assert my (somewhat rabid) atheism and support of the right to choose. Some 10 years ago, I admitted to my brother-in-law, SC's hubby, that I was an atheist; he explicitly warned me against telling SC & my folks. I like to think I have passively come out: When religion comes up, always in F2F conversations, I take the skeptical or anti-faith stance. And boy does it push their buttons. If ever they ask "you = atheist, yes or no?" I will admit, but I'm not volunteering anything otherwise. They make me crazy, but I still love them. And I especially don't want to be cut off from the niece and nephews! I'm the COOL aunt, with all the tattoos, fart jokes and cute profanity, dammit!

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